| February 2004 Archives
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February 29 Permalink
For leap year day we went to Fredericktowne Mall for the weekly showing of pets by the Animal Welfare League of Frederick County. Unfortunately for Miranda, there were no cats, but just small mammals. Most of the mall was taken up by a mass signing of books by authors from a vanity press.
We ate lunch at Long John Silver's and Whitlock and I stood in line to get our meals separately. While I waited, an older gentleman asked just for water to tide him over while he waited to see a movie. The woman behind the counter asked what movie. He said The Passion of the Christ and added that he night not understand it, I assumed because of the use of Aramaic, Hebrew and Latin, albeit subtitled. I gave him a look and said,"You read the book, didn't you?" At first he said no, then added that he did read the Bible. I told him that was pretty much the plot, but he thought there was some book it was based on. There were of course, the embellishments based on the visions of Sister Anne Emmerich.
February 28 Permalink
An incredibly smooth taping of Silver Screen Test. Everybody had worked on the show before in some capacity which probably helped, as well as the fact that I was very well prepared. Thanks to Yen-Ming Chen, James Katz, Andrea Lamphier, Pam Mandel, Bob Mattia, Nancy Poole, Larry Sheingorn and Corey Wallace. All the contestants showed up and you can barely tell on camera that I had a runny nose.
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My parents came over just I got home to drop off gifts they got in Hawaii. I was able to point out a couple of deer wandering through the back yard. Whitlock and Miranda were out, but I couldn't tell me parents where. When they finally got home after my folks left, it turned out they were at the other grandparent's house.
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So Whitlock and I watched a whole bunch of TV starting with the Enterprise episode "Hatchery". The ship finds a crashed Xindi insectoid ship with a bunch of eggs still inside. Archer wants to save the eggs, just before he gets sprayed with some icky goo.
Before long, the captain gets more obsessed with saving the eggs to the detriment of getting to the Xindi weapon and destroying it. When T'Pol questions the orders, she gets confined to quarters. Soon, Archer puts Hayes in command while he's down taking care of the eggs.
The Starfleet guys revolt, defeating the space marines. Trip stuns Archer. Phlox explains that the bug spray created a reverse imprinting effect whereby Archer thought he was the eggs' mother.
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Moved on to the CSI episode "Getting Off". First, there's this dead man with a painted face in the transvestite section of Vegas. But it's not a transvestite, but a clown, killed and dumped in the TV section so his murder would not be investigated.
Turns out he was killed by an irate husband when the clown was boffing his wife. The wife liked clowns and hired them a lot. After the murder, the couple kept the outfit, because she got turned on by that stuff. Which brings me to the important point of communication. If she just told her husband how this would rev up their sex life, there wouldn't be all those entertainment expenditures or murder, and they'd just be out the clown costume cost. So tell your sex partner what turns you on, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, no matter how weird it is.
The B-plot involved a victim who was into a drug that was both an addiction inhibitor and hallucinogen. He was killed by his girlfriend who would do anything for her drugs, including murder for her landlord.
At the end of the episode, Catherine ran off with some guy who I realized she met in the previous and I saw the shows in the wrong order.
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So in reverse order I go to "Early Rollout". A couple gets brutally killed in their gated community. Grissom notices the guy was dragged, not to hide it, but to display it, but why?
As the team gathers to collect evidence, Warrick shows Greg the wonders of an immaculately prepared trunk. Sara is chewing on a cough drop because, she claims to be catching a cold. Brass later confronts her with the suspicion she's been drinking in the morning and sucking on the eucalyptus to hide her breath. What a way to work that phrase in. Sara says she had some beers as she went off shift and that's all.
The couple owned a popular nightclub, where they paid celebrities like Lil'Kim and Jay-Z ten grand just to walk in and walk out. The wife was also a former porn star that the husband seduced, produced and married. Among the former associates who wanted to kill them was former partner played by D.B. Sweeney, who previously appeared on CSI: Miami as a child molester. He hired a couple a thugs to perform the murder, while he watched, from a hillside. He had his kid with him as an alibi, but the kid was drugged and asleep when the murder took place. The actual murderers are no good as witnesses because they killed each other, but at least they got D.B.'s blood on the payment money.
Grissom gives his performance evaluation to Catherine and considers her using the lab to establish her paternity to Sam Braun closed. She further admits to cashing the check Braun gave her. Gil is afraid it looks like a payoff. Catherine also hasn't had sex in seven months which leads to Chris Bezich, the nightclub manager she goes to the hotel with in the following show.
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Finished with the CSI: Miami "Invasion". As a family get ready for a night of pizza and a DVD, some brutal robbers break in, smashing display cases along the way. The mother and son are beaten and the father is nowhere to be found, presumed by the police to be dead.
The father was former surfer who came a prosperous surfboard maker. Eventually they do find his buried body. It turns out the son had been dealing heroin and using his father's collection of Central American artifacts to pay for his habit. Figuring the 'rents may be catching on, he hires a couple of customers who work at his father's factory to perform the burglary and take a few artifacts as well for their trouble. Unfortunately, one of the robbers had a previous affair with the mom, went a little too far and killed the dad.
February 27 Permalink
Britain now has 24 Hour Quiz which from the review sounds excruciatingly boring. If the public wants a reality quiz show, just load a video camera aboard a van with some readers of this blog as they head to a tournament. Even the densest of us can say two clever things in 24 hours.
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Set up for Silver Screen Test tomorrow. Thanks to Jimmy Albert, John Buckley and John Eftimiades for their help. I'm using the non-buzzer rules because Larry Sheingorn was too sick to set up, but he'll be healthy enough to direct.
February 26 Permalink
A progress report on my OOTP team. It's now the first week of July. I'm 2.5 games back in third place. I lead both leagues in walks drawn and fan interest.
My decent catcher is out for the year. I'm platooning a passable catcher with a youngster with power, but no contact. So far, he's hitless in 8 PA with a walk.
I signed an extension with the first of the six players I will re-sign. He's a reliever I picked up from free agency during the season that shone all the way to get a prime relief spot. He's dropped back to Earth, but is currently still the #3 reliever.
Tough home game tonight vs. New Orleans. Lost my Scott Rolen-type 3B to a back inury while throwing out the second batter of the game. The back-up 3B who is also third-string 1B goes in. Not along afterwards, when my starter gets shelled, I double switch and replace my power-hitting 1B with the slap-hitting 1B. But on his first plate appearance, slap-hitter gets ejected for arguing with the ump. No one else is rated at 1B, so I have to go with the platoon CF. Another double switch and the back-up RF goes into 1B and the CF goes out to replace his platoon partner. A final double switch and the back-up 2B goes in at 2B, 2B goes to 1B, 1B goes to RF and Marshall Chamness goes to CF. With 5 1B in the game, there are no errors there, but we still lose 6-0.
February 25 Permalink
The Cougars from ESPN's cancelled Playmakers live. They're now called the Baltimore Ravens. Jamal Lewis has been indicted on charges of conspiring to distribute 11 pounds of cocaine. A radio report said he'd been charge with distributing 5 kilometers instead of 5 kilograms. I think a line of 5 km of coke would weigh a whole lot more than 5 kg.
Put Ray Lewis and Jamal Lewis together in Atlanta and you get Demetrius Harris. However, DH never sold any crack on-screen.
February 24 Permalink
Whitlock was sick today so I took off work to take her to doctors. But I'm also a little bit sick because I think this bit of filk from Baseball Primer is funny:
EAT THE METS,
EAT THE METS,
Step right up and beat the Mets!
Bring your forks,
bring your knives;
Guaranteed to have the meal of your lives
because the Mets are really tasting great; knock their heads right onto your plate!
Right arm,
Left arm,
Body parts all around
so eat the M-E-T-S Mets of New York town!
Oh, the butcher and the baker and the people on the streets,
where did they go? To EAT THE METS!
Oh, they’re bitin' and chompin' and salivatin' in their seats,
where did they go? To EAT THE METS!
All the fans love to chew the orange and blue,
so hurry up and eat these clowns -
‘cause we have a delicious meal,
The Mets of New York town!
Give us their legs!
Give us their hands!
And practice cannibalism in the stands!
February 23 Permalink
A great tribute on the retirement of Jesse Orosco from The Humbug Journal.
Jesse Orosco Retires
When first we saw Jesse Orosco
Brezhnev was ruling in Moscow.
We had no CDs
VCRs or PCs,
And no one bought bulk yet at Costco.
When age strikes our current young stars
Maybe we'll drive flying cars.
We'll all watch TV
In HD3D
As the Expos play home games on Mars.
To say where the future will go
Is hard, but there's one thing I know:
There will still be a need
To genetically breed
Orosco-like lefties who throw.
February 22 Permalink
A note from Sci-Fi Wire. As previously reported, has pilot has been ordered based on Casual Rex but entitled Anonymous Rex. Now we find that the Sci-Fi Channel has ordered it up.
February 21 Permalink
Way too late, Howard Dean's scream seemed more contrived to me than true rage or just having fun. It seemed as authentic as the quadrennial cow milking by a candidate in Iowa.
More spam senders: Methinks V. Popularity, Rippling D. Hooker.
February 20 Permalink
Back in high school, we saw a documentary version of Future Shock. Between robots and genetically engineered people was a gay wedding, which most of the students found the most disturbing. The teacher asked why this was more disturbing than cloning people.
Years later, I think that science fiction has prepared its audience for the concepts of robots and genetic engineering. Given some homophobia in the field, there are still plenty of gay writers, but they rarely wrote about married gays. Mainly because married people are boring. Unless they're breaking up, they make lousy stories.
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Don't forget March 20 is only a month away.
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It's a triple-feature TV night starting with the CSI: Miami episode "Stalkerazzi". A guy is being chased by another vehicle and crashes into a haystack. We find out he's a low-life photographer who was in a tree, shooting into the yard of Brad Pitt-type movie star lounging with his boyfriend.
But how did the shots get into a tabloid a few days later? The policeman on the scene took the film out of the icechest and sold them. Another paparazzi who was there first didn't go for the film, but shot snuff photos instead.
The Brad guy is the first suspect, but the dead man's photos show something else happening next door - a shooting. Another actor shot a woman in his home, saw the photographer in the tree and sent his body double to kill him. Two problems here - first of all, the photographer was focused on the two boys in the foreground and the shooting in the background couldn't have been that detailed. Secondly, I don't think the people in the other house could have seen the photographer in the tree - he was too far away and hidden.
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Moved on to the Enterprise episode "Doctor's Orders". The doctor is left alone because the ship is traveling through a spatial anomaly that could harm the humans on the crew. They will be left in a coma while the doctor runs the ship.
When Phlox starts hallucinating a Xindi insectoid, T'Pol shows up and we wonder why her presence was never mentioned and why Archer didn't leave her in charge. The doctor hallucinates some more and when it comes time to leave the anomaly and revive the crew, they're still in the anomaly and it will take ten weeks to get through it - too long to safely leave the crew in a coma.
Phlox reluctantly take the ship to warp while T'Pol goes into emotional shock. When the crew wakes up, Tucker admonishes the doctor about the damage, but you also realize Phlox has been hallucinating T'Pol.
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Finish off with the Angel epsiode "Smile Time". A children's show populated with muppets and a single Barney-like being are draining the life force from individual children. The kids go into a coma.
When Angel investigates, he comes upon a massive magic source that turns him into a puppet. Eventually, Angel has a final battle with the puppets while Wesley and Fred used magic to deactivate the energy source.
Ben Edlund both wrote and directed this one and there were many laughs such as when one of the puppet characters said he had a song about the difference between metaphor and analogy. Angel the puppet is a nicer guy than the human-sized Angel as he has a relationship with Nina the werewolf. I take back my jump the shark characterization for this episode.
February 19 Permalink
Watched the Tru Calling episode "Valentine". Tru is supposed to have a romantic weekend with Luc and Lindsey with Harrison. Instead, a flood has washed out the road to Tru and Luc's location so they end up at the same spooky cabins as Lindsey and Harrison.
At a stop, a guy named Kevin asks for a ride. Tru refuses, but he ends up at the same cabins, which are owned by his sister. That evening, Tru hears his body calling and the day rewinds.
At first, Tru tries to save Kevin by framing him stealing a wallet. Now he's pissed. Although, two other men are suspects, Davis reports information that leads to Kevin as a serial killer in recent Valentine's Day murders.
Harrison and Tru tell Luc and Lindsey some lies about the day that are eventually discovered. Kevin assaults Lindsey, but Harrison saves her. Then Tru finds Kevin with his sister as he begs to be killed. In the previous day the sister left him as a supposed victim of the Valentine's Day killer, closing the book forever. Tru stops them and Kevin is turned into the police. Unfortunately, it looks like Luc is breaking up with Tru.
February 18 Permalink
Angel gets cancelled at the end of the season. I won't see tonight's episode till later but turning your title character into a Muppet has gotta be a serious shark jumping indicator. This is very different from fighting a puppet like Buffy did.
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Watched the Water Rats episode "Missing". In the main plot, a teen-aged boy is found dead with the same M.O. as a serial killer who was jailed in a previous episode. Had they jailed the wrong man?
Meanwhile, Helen has searched for missing boys in the last week and turns up a mentally challenged one whose father is a police constable. Their prime suspect was interviewed in the previous investigation because a boy was found in the trunk of a car he sold to the guy in jail. It turns both suspects knew each while working for the phone company.
Holloway concocts the correct theory that the guy in jail committed of the three murders he's charged with. The missing suspect stole his car back and dumped the third boy in it. Now he's running around with another victim. The jailed killer drops a hint of where is buddy could be found and the most recent boy is found still alive.
In the B-plot, a rich man spends his mid-life crisis buying a yacht, but knowing how to sail it. He, his wife and young son abandon ship when the boat takes on water. Nemesis finds the boy who becomes an annoyance to Tavita in the following days as the search continues for his parents.
February 17 Permalink
The new Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie will star Englishman Martin Freeman as Arthur Dent, Brooklyn rapper Mos Def as Ford Prefect and Zooey Deschanel as Trillian. Freeman is all right. Perhaps they could have chosen a black Englishman for Ford, unless Mos can do an English accent. I also thought Trillian should be English and a nerd dream - Winona Ryder or Fred from Angel.
I'd heard Douglas Adams had wanted a big American star for Zaphod like Bruce Willis. Instead we're getting Sam Rockwell who bears a passing resemblance to Mark Wing-Davey. I'm ready to call "Fraught" on this one.
February 16 Permalink
Went to Frederick to get Miranda some shoes and go furniture shopping. We bought the shoes, but not any furniture.
As far as the A-Rod trade, I'd just like to remind everyone that Kevin Brown, Mike Mussina, Gary Sheffield, Kenny Lofton and Bernie Williams are all on the far side of 35. All of them could suddenly lose effectiveness this year and A-Rod wouldn't be much help. The most surprising fact I heard when A-Rod was potentially going to the Red Sox was that his wife wanted to go to grad school in Boston.
Call this the "Curse of the Nats," punishment for leaving in Washington. In addition, the Texas Rangers had a great owner who instead followed in his father's footsteps.
February 15 Permalink
Watched the Monk episode "Mr. Monk and the Captain's Wife". The episode begins with a sniper killing a tow truck driver whose vehicle ends up hitting the SUV of Captain Stottlemeyer's wife Karen. The first theory is a union angle because the driver was a scab.
In a continual state of anger, Stottlemeyer threatens the union boss and his first lackey. Sharona returns a dog found at the crime scene to his owner Evan, a tall, handsome, youngish man. A few days later, we see Evan shoot a scab truck driver near a picket line.
Convinced of the connection, Stottlemeyer is ready to lead an assault on union headquarters, until Monk stops them. Adrian has found Evan's car and gun oil in the glove department. He has correctly deduced that Evan was awakened by the truck towing his car away. His immediate plan was to run barefoot with a rifle to a location he already knew about. After the shooting, he took the gun from the glove compartment and stole the dead man's shoes.
When the police search Evan's house and find nothing, Monk realizes he's thrown out the evidence in the trash. Adrian actually climbs the garbage truck to get the bags that will finger Evan.
The secondary line involved Stottlemeyer realizing where Monk was when he lost Trudy.
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Went on to the Angel episode "Why We Fight". A Tom Cruise-lookalike named Lawson shows up at Wolfram and Hart late at night and ties up Fred, Wesley and Gunn in a manner that either reminds you of the crucifixion or the three girls to be burned in the Buffy episode "Gingerbread". We flashback to 1943 to explain how we got here.
The Americans have stolen a German sub with vampires unboard. They want to bring it home, but it's stuck deep in the ocean. The Initiative draft Angel to retrieve the sub. Turns out Spike's onboard along with a blowhard Russian and a Nosferatu clone called the Prince of Lies.
Along the way, we discover both the Germans and the Americans have some form of Demon Initiative in place. Spike foreshadows getting a chip in his head. Angel dusts the Russian and Nosferatu when they get unruly.
Lawson is the remaining ranking American officer. As he makes required repairs to save the sub, the lone human German stabs him with a screwdriver. As Lawson is dying and the only one who can save them, Angel must make the fateful decision to turn him into a vampire so that he can continue repairs.
Now Lawson has returned in modern times. He has gotten no pleasure from the evil he has done. There is a sliver of a soul that Angel has given him. Lawson is just there to provoke Angel to kill him.
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